You have been force upon a path you didn’t want. This path has two parts - the business side; and the emotional and healing side.
The business side is treating this situation like a business deal gone sideways. For that is what it basically is. Your partner has altered direction and is considering dissolving the business (marriage). This path is intellectual. Utilize your logic and reason. Knowledge is power. For now, being forwarded is being forearmed. Leave any heavy lifting to her. You are not looking to divorce, just getting informed is all. And prepared just in case.
The emotional/healing path is much more. This is the path for one’s emotions and self discovery. (Don’t use a $300/hr lawyer as a counsellor, keep emotions out of the business side. )
Explore your emotions. Feel them. Let them wash over you. And let them go.
Be physical. Active. It shifts one’s focus and helps burn out the grief/anger. Sweating it out is a good mechanism.
Discover your deep convictions and values. Strengthen those beliefs that serve you, craft those you aspire to, and alter or discard those that you do not like or do not serve.
Thoughts. Your intellect. You only control three things: Your thoughts, actions, and reactions. From these three, you influence your emotions and beliefs. Which in turn influence each other.
All together there are four roads we travel in our life - physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. We have direct control over physical and mostly intellectual. We influence and guide everything else.
I like to think of our journey as cars upon those four roads. Purposely climbing in to a certain car to alter its direction and speed. Lots of times our emotions zoom off backwards or off road, and we need to guide ourselves back to the path.
Eventual, those four - for now seemingly independent - roads start to align. You realize the four roads are actually lanes on the highway of your life. Your cars get closer together and start travelling in the same direction and speed. Peace and contentment comes when one’s cars are aligned, side by side, same velocity, and moving forward together.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
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