She is home and supposedly not in contact with the om except for work purposes. She is affectionate, we get along well, and she has even started initiating sex. All of this makes things feel "normal" and it's hard not to get caught up in thinking things are going well. I'm trying not to read too much into her actions because I know she is still unsure. It really bothers me that she could act this way towards me and still be considering leaving for the OM. I think that detaching is hard for me because I'm afraid she will think I'm just being withdrawn, like the old me. I like the concept behind the Lighthouse story, I'll try harder to be her lighthouse. I know that I'll never know, until it's too late if it's true, whether or not she still wants the OM. I just can't be plan B again. I won't be. This is my biggest struggle. Despite all the advice, I just can't seem to get past it. I've been doing really well recently, but this morning not so much. Feeling better now. It does help to just get on here and vent. I know I'm not the first and you all have seen it all. I look back at all my post's and think I must come across as a flip flopping, dipsh!t. Thanks again.
