Saving Pack through D, Pack_19 part V

[BL42]

Pack_19,

Welcome back! It's great to hear from you. I was wondering how things were going.

Sorry to hear you're still struggling. There was recent post in the Midlife Crisis Forum by a user I've been meaning to share on a few Newbie threads, but seems especially relevant to you:

If there was any advice I could give a newbie, it would be to do the work, move on, and live your life as if the EX isn't coming back. Don't waste time. Life is too short.

Easier said than done, for sure. You've excelled in GAL but struggled a great deal with detachment since the beginning. But you've made progress. Look back and think of a couple years ago and realize how far you've come.

I finally have a new divorce agreement and we will be signing it next month.

I'm sorry to hear it's come to this. Finalizing the D is often an emotional time, even when it's been in the works for awhile. Hopefully you can use it as closure for this chapter in your life.

I have been feeling like the financial topic should not bother me, I should be able to say "W, here is your half, go and enjoy your life, I will do the same with mine". Yet, I worked so hard for all we had and I had to bring down after she left, let's just say I am working on those feelings and letting it go.

The financial impact can be frustrating for sure. But in the end the money isn't the most important thing. Once you can let it go you'll free yourself up to focus more on your kids and your new life.

They told I need to find a woman who truly loves me and then my mind will find peace

Many would argue the reverse of this. Find peace with yourself and your situation and then you will find a W to compliment your life. You don't need other people to find peace and happiness. If you seek them out for this reason it has a high chance of not ending well.

they said I see W from the eyes of a man who loved her when she left and I need to understand that she does not care about me as a man

I think they're right on this one.

I am killing my PIES and the relationship with the kids.

Great stuff on the kids, CrossFit, reading, trips with friends, your career, and the new
house

I havent met anyone, I have very high standards after all I have suffered and limited time with the kids, work and all the exercising. It has been impossible to find a woman that keeps me interested and attracted to put the effort I need to balance all things in my life now.

It's OK not to focus on meeting someone. Don't make that a metric of your progress. Like I said above you're doing great with the GAL. You're improving your life and when the time is right will attract a partner who treats you far better than your STBXW has for years, or maybe ever.

Pack - Don't be too hard on yourself. You were dealt and incredibly difficult hand, and have made great strides. You'll get there.