That's where the lawyers comes in...best person to advise you what you're entitled to in your jurisdiction. Don't remember if you said where you're located, but there are main areas of consideration:
*Custody - N/A for D23 & S17. A few years for D13. Don't accept anything less than 50/50. *Child Support - N/A for D23. Maybe S17, but some states are until 21. A few more years for D13. Often an online calculator for your state to run your income and your wife's income and estimate the obligation. *Assets - Guessing based on married 25 years neither of you have significant pre-martial assets, but if you do some states are either Equitable or Equal Distribution of Assets. The former meaning generally you take premarital assets off the top before dividing in two, the latter just straight up divide in half. *Spousal Support - Typically based on the length of marriage and disparity in income. You know both of those factors. Often times there's a straight up online calculator for length and amount of support. You should be able to find something by googling your state name and spousal support calculator.
Start gathering bank statements on EVERYTHING you can (credit cards, checking/savings accounts, retirement accounts...etc.). You should know how much you have in your 401k and how much she has in hers. Assuming neither had a significant amount 25 years ago before marriage it's a straightforward add up and divide by two. Unless she's willing to sign the farm away, which is possible, but probably unlikely...especially the longer it plays out.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
