Steve, I read your thread “How do you DB when you love your WAS”. Others have said some version of it, but it really hit home. I looked inside myself and admitted that I am absolutely still operating out of fear. I’m still in love with her, but I am more in love with the romanticized story of us. 33 years of life. We were kids when we met, it’s hard for me understand her feelings, only mine. I am not giving up on us but I realize that what you posted makes sense. She wants to be happy. It hurts so much to think someone else can make her happy. I will try to keep these things in mind moving forward. It hurts, but I won’t die. I will definitely stop with the nice guy stuff. I’m trying. That’s the best I can do.
Mike, please do not think my trying to put things into simple terms means I think this stuff is easy. I wish it were. All of us here have been through it to some level, and we all made lots of mistakes. And we've all come through it, no matter the outcome, for better or for worse. So we try to help newcomers to look at things differently so that they can start to maybe see the wisdom in DBing. When I first started DBingI was awful at it. Over days and weeks I got better. I think I still was only at 80-90% proficient in my best days!
So just keep working at it. The beauty of it is that it will help you get over your over attachment and your desire to please her at the expense of your own wants and desires. One day you will wake up and your mind and emotions won't be racing with thoughts of devastation if she decides to split. Its hard to think you will get there but keep working at GAL, 180ing and self improvements, and detachment, and you will get there!
You've got this Mike!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
