Something I haven't really posted about is the fact that I will be retiring soon. My original plan was 6/1, now it might be 1/1. This has been the milestone I've been trying to reach for 27 years at this job and now it doesn't really excite me like it did. The plan was to immediately go to work somewhere else for 5-10 years and really enjoy life, finally. I can just about double my current income and afford to do the things we never could. Now there might not be a "we". Yes, I know I can still do the things I planned. It just [censored]. I want to travel, get a boat, and generally live it up. It's hard to imagine not having her by my side after all these years to share this stage of life with. It's easy to think that I can move on without her since she will be the one choosing to leave, but it doesn't matter. It will suck and there's no two ways about it. I also know that I could eventually find someone else to share this time with. That's not really something I care to think about right now. Would probably rather be alone at this stage in life. Not really looking for any answers, just feeling really down about it and needed to whine a little. It's nice to have a place to vent.
Mike the problem with this thinking is that we live in an imperfect world. Disease. Accidents. Acts of violence. Even natural disasters are all out of our control. So anyone in our lives could be taken from us at any moment. There is a big difference between missing someone and not being able to go on without them. Over attachment in an imperfect world is a not a good thing.
Are you in independent counseling? If not I would highly encourage it. The forum is nice, but a good counselor can really help you work through issues like this.
Last edited by SteveLW; 11/23/2207:41 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
