Living with WAW 3

[BL42]

DW17,

IC was interesting. I did my basic 2 week recap, we talked about my thoughts on responding to the D papers and I told him I made the decision to stick it out and fight for my marriage. He commended me for the strength to do that, but also made it seem like I was an idiot for doing so.

Your IC made it seem like you were an idiot to stick it out and fight for your marriage? Does that strike anyone else as an odd thing for an IC to do?

I told him that if it weren’t for D4, I am sure I would have ended things already, which opened up a bunch of other thoughts. I know people say that you shouldn’t stay with someone just because of your kids, but bringing D4 into my life was a choice that I made with the sole intention of providing her the best possible life. Splitting up this family in no way gives her the best possible life in my opinion.

Working on your marriage for your kids' sake is a perfectly valid reason. Maybe the most important reason. However, just realize that unfortunately it might not ultimately be your decision - the end result is not something you can control.

She saw a commercial about Disneyland, got excited and asked if she could go there. I was supposed to go back to CA for work this summer and take her there. There is no way I will be able to do that now,

I had a trip to FL recently and floated the idea of taking the kids and my parents along to do Disney during the long weekend and then my parents flying them home while I stayed for my meetings, but it was too tough to pull off logistically. Maybe sometime soon though...

nor will I be able to travel for work anymore with split custody.

I have 50/50 custody and have traveled for work. If it comes to D try to align your business travel with your off weeks when possible and hopefully you and your Ex can be reasonable about switching time when it doesn't.

I get to travel to Japan for work too and wanted to take W and D4 there one day.

Make it happen! I know it's daunting, trust me, but you can do more as a single parent than you think.

I am usually pretty diligent with my info on electronic devices. I had changed all of my passwords already. The issue was that I did not realize the email app was logged in on the computer since I never use it.

Because the proliferation of smartphones, tablets, smartwatches...etc. some accounts/services have a "log out of all other devices" option now you might be able to leverage.

it’s something I intend to continue in the future even without her.

Good! Regardless of what happens between you and your W, you make sure to keep up the traditions with your kids.

I’m trying to think of a new tradition I can do with the kids also.

Excellent! My kids and I have already formed new traditions...S7 is already eager and asking to have my mom make "Christmas Tree pancakes" and go get our tree together.

W posted some pictures from Saturday at the casino on Instagram that D18 showed me because several of her friends reached out asking if her mom was okay. (Some of D18’s friends follow W on there). She was flipping off the camera in one and dressed in a practically see through shirt in another and just generally looking like someone going through some sh!t. D18 was pretty much in tears from the embarrassment and asking why her mom was acting like a teenager.

WSs are the DEFINITION of selfishness. Don't think for a second she's going to stop her bad actions because it's hurting you or the kids.

It was sad having to comfort her about this, but I just told her that she can’t control the image that W is projecting to the world, that she has every right to feel embarrassed by it, and that her mom will hopefully work her way through it eventually.

Sounds like you listened, validated, and handled the situation and conversation with your daughter very well. Good job dad. Keep rising up above your hurt and be there for your kids - they won't forget it.

I wish W understood the hurt she is causing.

Not sure if they recognize the hurt they cause and don't care at all OR if they're just completely oblivious to it all unless it directly impacts them - probably some of both - but make no mistake...they only do what they think is best for themselves.