I think it's pretty simple - you need to step back and really think about what you want, both in terms of relationships with your children as well as in terms of a romantic partnership. Forget about her and her shenanigans - really focus on what YOU want. Once you get that figured out, you can then compare it to your present reality. You'll then know the next steps you need to take.

I'd also consult a father's rights lawyer to see where you stand, just as a point of information. We can't make the best decision without all the information needed.

When's your next couples' therapy session? Can you get an emergency session? Can you speak with the counselor individually? If you want gf to get out, can you say that in a therapy session and then work out in that session the steps that she needs to take to leave, including a time line. Can you also set up something so there's minimal chance of either of you acting out - a neutral third party, or someone who will act as a witness that there's no abuse going on as she leaves?

Does any of this make sense to you?

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver