I know it seems awful not to have that backup - but honestly, he's not a reliable backup anyway, and it may be best for your child not to grow up with a father who is not interested in parenting and who could be such a bad influence.
My own 3 kids were raised in an intact home until the youngest was 17. I thought of my narcissistic ex as a good father - he took the kids camping, surfing etc., was reasonably involved. But as adults they have all told me about how his narcissism affected them. And their relationships with him as adults in their 30's are somewhat strained.
Put in place the help you need and don't count on him for anything (except make him pay his child support!). I hope you meet a wonderful man who might become the father figure your child deserves. My sister's ex-husband is referred to by my niece as her "sperm donor" because he was such a poor father. The man my sister remarried to is her "dad", the guy who went to all her games, supported her, taught her.
