Boundary after big D part four

[AndrewP]

Looking at what you've been writing Mach40, I can see similarities with my own past journey.

One thing I think that you are looking at is what you can offer vs what you want. I certainly made that mistake. I'm stable, with a decent income, a shabby but neat home, all my own teeth etc.

It's like going into a store with $100 and seeing what it will buy vs going shopping and seeing something you want and then deciding if it's worth buying.

I certainly even now still have a tendency to think about how fortunate I am, and I am indeed very fortunate, and seeing others that could be helped with that and feeling internal pressure to share my good fortune. For example, I have a largeish 4 bedroom home that I live alone in with my cat. There is a housing crisis in my area with many people unable to afford rent even in sub-standard housing. Do I feel guilty about not opening my doors and offering up my surplus space? Heck yes. But I also know that that's not something I want to have in my life.

Just something to think about. If you look at my own threads from a bit over 3 years ago, you'll see my dating stories if you are interested. In all cases, it ended up with situations where people around me, including from here really pushed me to realize that I was putting in all the effort and not getting anything out of it.