Last night was eye opening for me. I realize she isn’t where I thought/hoped she was and I was being foolish and expecting too much. I also think she is still unsure about us because of the om and that pisses me off. Today has been easier to db than any other time so far. Keeping convo to minimum and staying busy in different parts of the house once she got home from work.We went to d13’s bball scrimmage and we sat in the same vicinity but I mostly hung out with a friend. Came home and I’m doing my own thing while she watches football in the living room. She offered to let me watch something else but just said it was ok, I’ll go in the other room. I know that’s not a big deal on the surface but any other time I would have jumped at the chance to sit with her. Yes she likes football, something I’ve always loved about her.
Early on in my sitch before I found DB I moved out for awhile and stayed with a friend. My exw wanted me to come home for the holidays because my kids were young at the time. When I went home I thought things were going to back to the way they use to be. It was never the same again. She said she was trying but she wasn’t. I was angry that she didn’t feel our family was worth fighting for. One of my good friends told me “she can’t help the way she feels”. Even though I didn’t want to hear it he was right. I bet staying and having those feelings a W should have would have been the easiest path for her if she could get there. I guess my point is that this is not easy for her either. She is in pain just like you are right now.
