It ended with her saying she wants to continue on like we have been and see what happens.
I would have said "That's not working for me. I have something important to do." and walked away. Possibly taken a shower and went out and shot some pool. Or head out to the gym. Or go for a walk in the park.
Either she pursues you (likes follows you to the bathroom) or not. Either way, you are fine with her choice.
That is the thought process. Talking never works at this stage. End the convo first. Do not tell her what you are doing.
“That’s not working for me” in regards to continuing on like we have been ?
How about you step back and just "be" for a while....
Let all of this pressure of it either working or pushing it to not work rest for a while....
You can grill the most perfect steak, yet to acquire the best result, you should let it rest....right ??
So maybe approach it that way for now....
Look Mike, this is either gonna work out or it isn't, and the Universe seldom allows us to have that information before we are ready for it...
Right now, every word, every conversation with you about this leads to you pressuring her. You may not feel like you are, however she feels that pressure from you just by seeing that sad puppy dog look on your face when things don't go the way that you would like them to...
Everything right now, she feels, is your fix for her problems....
She's never had the chance to figure anything out on her own because you have always been there to either tell her how to do it, or to fix it for her....
She needs to figure this schidt out on her own right now....
You say that you want to fully embrace DB for now....
So maybe start with ....
GAL....get your ass out of the house and start doing some things that you have always wanted to do
Act "as if"....Stop focusing on what is wrong with things right now....whatever happens, it's gonna be just fine, actually better than fine...
Cheeseless tunnels....stop trying to control what. who, why, where, and how....of everything, except you...
Stop trying to plan every word, touch, interaction with her...
Dive deep into the things that you don't like about yourself, and spend the time that you are giving her really thinking about and dealing with your issues...not hers.
And I can tell you, that whatever happens IF you do that, it will be okay....
Thanks for the advice, words of wisdom. I know these things yet keep screwing it up. I swear, 99% of the time I’m upbeat and don’t act sad etc. Her working with that ahole gets to me and eventually I screw up and say something. I told myself last night to stop with the R talks of she’ll never come around, I’m determined to stop the talks. I’ve started back to the gym and go running every night, damn cold though😁. I’m looking for somewhere close to give yoga a try, maybe it can my back situation. I honestly trying To GAL more than ever.
