...Anytime we talk... I asked her earlier today if she would... I asked, did not tell her or even that I needed her to do it. ... I asked for....
These type of statements sound NEEDY to me, and most likely her. I feel you still have a lot of work to do on yourself. Your behavior and the way you interact with her. At this point in the process, I believe you need to keep following DBing principles until you KNOW she is fully committed.
Originally Posted by MikeP
wouldn’t read the two chapters in DB that are for the betrayer,
Don't give her the DB or DR books. This is your playbook. If she ask you for book ideas, give her "his needs/her needs" or something similar.
Look here for "understanding affairs". It has been a long time since I read it, but I am sure you would benefit from reading: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2061094#Post2061094 After reading it, you can make a decision if you want to share it with her, but until she is asking for book recommendations, I would keep them to myself.
One important thing I learned was to focus on MY BEHAVIOR when I want changes in my partner. I change my behavior to be more attractive to women in general.
Don't be needy. Don't be boring. Don't be controlling. Be sexy.
bill I guess I was emphasizing that I only asked and wasn’t trying to be controlling. I get what you mean though. She actually just told me she doesn’t know what she needs and in fact still doesn’t know if she even wants to be here. I pointed out that saying that doesn’t jive with claiming to want to make it work. It ended with her saying she wants to continue on like we have been and see what happens. You are 100% correct, I have a lot of work to do still on me. I have to start from square one with DBing and keep posting here so you guys can keep me accountable and on the right track. Time to stop talking about it and be about it.
