Ha, no. To be honest, I hardly even remember much of the conversation I wrote about above, even though it was only 6 days ago. Nothing has changed - same sleeping quarters, same incidence of bedroom activities with probably the same ratio of who initiates, same passcode on the phone.
I try to bear in mind the points from you and Mach1 about space and time being the only things that might resolve these situations. I've had to resist doing a temperature check where I ask W if she wants to go out to eat together while my parents watch the kids. I mean, just out of curiosity to see what her response would be. So far I haven't pushed it.
As you know, I'm mostly against pulling the rip cord and upending the kids' home life in drastic fashion. I still think that there's an MLC component to all this in which W feels bad about where she is in life.
I wish I had a more substantive update...been reading the new guy's thread and living vicariously through that a little.
Originally Posted by LH19
Doug you have to tell me what your goals are right now. Are you trying to get your kids through a specific time in their lives or are you trying to draw your W back to the marriage?
I'm sorry to say, I guess kinda both. I do feel like I vacillate sometimes between the approach of giving all the space in the world and the boundaries/tough love approach to a WW advocated by you and Sandi. What do you recommend? If it's MLC or even a milder form of some mid-life transition, the boundary thing of saying the passcode must come off the phone if we're in a marriage seems ill-advised.
