When you're going through a situation like this, it's natural to feel very isolated and alone. Part of the value of reading others' stories here is the recognition you're not the only one going through this that others have experienced it as well and gotten through it and are thriving; you will be alright no matter what happens with your marriage.
And I agree...you do seem strong relative to most Newbies.
Thank you for saying that. I wish I could get to a point where I felt strong. I have had moments where I feel strong and resolute in putting an end to crap that she is/was doing and the minute I see her face and even a hint of hurt in her eyes I'm done. Weak.
You aren't weak....
Strength is relative to the situation that you are in at the time.....
You are getting there, and this takes time to understand and find a balance within yourself for this...
You did your first 6 months "hard time" , which is similar to what I did.
You prolly finally hit the end of your rope and finally realized that this isn't going to end quick.
Every part of you thought that any day now, she would come back to you and state how sorry she was and have incredible make up sex, then things would go back to normal....
Now the clock has hit midnight, and there isn't any grandiose apology , and things don't appear to be getting any better. Same old grind, day after painstaking day....
You only see your pain, and how it affects you.....which is exactly where you should be....
Pain is the stone that we sharpen our growth on....
Fear is the great motivator.....
Anger is the shield that we use to protect our heart...
What you DO NOT see, is how far you've come, and how well you are doing....
Life is perspective......
Daily strength is something that you feel you don't have, yet the strength to make a stand for your marriage is one of the strongest things you will ever do....
There is a bigger purpose in what you are doing, so maybe give yourself a break and see things for what they are, not what you are trying to make them....
