It really doesn't feel like I'm strong at all, I feel mostly like a weak man who is letting my wife manipulate me.
So this is where you need to dig deep and be really honest with yourself and ask yourself why you are allowing it to happen. Usually it's fear.
If I'm being honest fear has a lot to do with it. I love her sill, but I'm afraid of losing a lifetime together. The marriage we had is over, possibly to be replaced by a new one. Possibly not. 33 years together and it feels like it all disappeared in the span of one conversation on 4/2/22. She has always been there since I was 17, the thought of losing her seems more than I can bear. Can't even type this without tearing up. As much as it hurts to think of us going our separate ways, it hurts more to think that she would throw it all away and still won't do much to reconcile. She's not where I am obviously. She's been home for 6 months, but it doesn't feel much different than it did the first day she came home. The fear of being alone for the first time in my is hard to overcome.
