Dear Mach, Thank you for the sharing of the threads of people whereby some of the MLC’ers made it to the other side. I will try to look them up and read them. I’m convinced my EXH is definitely not there yet. Maybe on his way back but he still has a very long way to go. The questions you have mentioned I have been asking myself as well. I want to work towards some sort of friendship in the first place so when he reaches out when he has difficult times and it works for me I will be there for him. I don’t seek reconciliation, this simply because the man I see in front of me is not a man I would want to date and definitely not be married to. Yes, I still feel a lot of love for him but the life I have now is much better then it was these past years so why would I want to give that up. The easy part is that I have my own place, I’m completely financially independent so if he wants to see me I go to his house, not the other way around, as my own place is my holy place now. He can come here to pick up the kids, to have a drink, but not to have serious conversations, this has to be in his house. I don’t want the children to be around that anymore. If however he would turn into a man which I would want to date, then I would consider it, but definitely no chance if this is not the case. I keep on doing what I have been doing, and that is simply live my life to the fullest. As Job wrote in the final chapter of her thread. (“To reclaim the person you once were, learn new hobbies, travel, meet new people and yes, even develop a new relationship.” – this is what I’m doing, although still WIP for the new relationship though, don’t want that yet, live is too good on my own, a date once and while will do for now, LOL)
I love what Job posted, and so accurate.
Just want you to understand that when the MLCer returns, they typically pursue HARD....
IF.....IF he is coming through the tunnel, that could happen....
As for the threads....
AmyC had some amazing stuff out there, and her threads didn't fully capture her over 12,000 posts here.
Read the tail end of this one for some insight on the MLC mind coming out of this....
