I definitely understand why she might not believe the changes. She told me at one point that I had become the perfect husband. I didn't know what to say other than to stick around and I'll be "the perfect husband" for the rest of our lives together.
My d13 is a big reason I'm trying so hard to make this work, plus I still love her and truly want to make it work. I hate the thought of my 13-year-old going through what may be to come. It's exactly as you said, I've swallowed a lot of my pride to try and make this work. In the end, if it doesn't, I can at least tell myself and my kids that I did everything I could.
I still bounce back and forth between blaming myself and being super angry for what she did. I don't show my anger, but it's there. That's something I need to work on as well. I've tried the whole forgiveness is for me not her thing, easier said than done.
