What to do?

[BL42]

MikeP,

The sex issue was always her low desire, my high desire and my negative response to being turned down so much. Never fought about, I just usually would withdraw and pout for a day. I took it so personally and felt rejected, she never understood that or really believed it.

That's a passive-aggressive response (withdraw and pout as opposed to stating your needs), and possibly some nice guy syndrome behavior (where you doing things you felt deserved to be rewarded with sex?). Might want to read up on those.

In the beginning I started back to the gym and took up running. Also started fasting and cleaned up the diet. Once she came, we went to Oklahoma for a softball tournament with d13, I was a coach, and I slowly fell off the exercise and eating plan wagon. Just started back running and working out, been dealing with a long term back problem that glares up occasionally.

It's easy to make a change for a few months. Much harder to make it permanent. Now that you're back to it can you commit to making it stick?

I’m sure the kids were suspicious, they’re smart.

Indeed.

For some reason I really want her to admit to sleeping with him, not sure why it bothers me except I know she’s lying and I want her to admit it.

Relationships can't work without trust, and how can you have trust if she's lying to you. It's fair to want the truth.

I’ve told her we will never make as long as she works with him and that I can only tolerate it for so long. I’m about done tolerating it.

Like LH19 and R2C said, you can't make her quit and get a new job...that's controlling. But it does go to her intentions. If she was dead serious about working on things she'd want to quit to prove to you she's committed.

I have read Divorce Remedy and Divorce Busting. Rereading Remedy now. I have watched every video of MWD’s I can find.

Good. What's next on your list?