So, here's my story. I could really use some advice. 4/2/22 had the talk- I love you but not in love, been talking to someone else, don't think I want to fix things, etc.
Standard operating procedure for WWS.
Originally Posted by MikeP
Surprisingly I kept my cool, not something either of us expected. MY immediate reaction was to try and fix things, apologized for the things I did wrong in the past.
This is surprising. Most beg and plead.
Originally Posted by MikeP
Our biggest problem has always been our sex life and her inability to talk to me, she can't deal with any conflict no matter how small.
No sex? You want more sex? She wants more sex?
Originally Posted by MikeP
She wasn't sure and kept seeing him a few nights a week while still living with me and our three kids. She moved into her parents house the first week of May. Kept seeing him but coming home a lot as if things were normal.
WWs love to cake eat. Have OM and keep family life.
Originally Posted by MikeP
She even said to me once that she didn't understand why she couldn't just see him and me, like that is a normal thing.
WWs are nutzos.
Originally Posted by MikeP
Finally on Memorial Day weekend I couldn't take it any more mentally. I was lonely, pissed, and had enough. I told her on Sunday morning she had 24 hrs to make a choice, me or him and if it was him I hated to see her go but she needed to get her stuff that week. Surprisingly, she ended it with him and came home. I didn't really expect her to move back in that soon but she wanted to.
Not surprising. Early on they are really confused and are not 100% ready to walk.
Originally Posted by MikeP
I left out the big problem for me, she works with the guy. At first he was a truck driver for the company and now he is a warehouse supervisor. They work in the same building and sometimes have to interact. I want her to quit, she doesn't want to. This new job of his started about a month ago. I've tried to deal with it, but I am struggling almost daily. She swears she only talks to him when necessary. I can't help but worry everyday that they are talking again.
If you are going to reconcile they can't work together.
Originally Posted by MikeP
She is depressed and won't seek help, and won't go to counseling. She won't socialize with friends anymore, just works and goes to the gym. She says that there are times when she doesn't want to be at our home, would rather be alone somewhere else.
Yep and the affair is an escape from her life.
Originally Posted by MikeP
We get along just fine until the anxiety about her job gets the best of me and I ask her to find a new job. I don't know what to do.
We will get to that later.
Originally Posted by MikeP
She came home and still says she wants thing to work, but she won't do anything.
That's because right now she has no desire to make it work but doesn't have an exit plan either.
Originally Posted by MikeP
She also expects me to believe that in the 6 months she was seeing him, going to his house 3-4 nights a week, they never had sex. I can't believe it and it bothers me that she won't admit it. Feels like a huge lie hanging over us. We have been married 25 years, together 33. We have 3 kids- D23, S17, & D13.
She definetly had sex with him.
Originally Posted by MikeP
I feel as if I'm doing all the work, letting her off the hook for everything, and she won't help me get over it. She says she loves me and wants it to work.
She's not being honest with you right now.
Originally Posted by MikeP
She hates conflict, hates talking about anything involving her emotions, and seems like a stranger at times. It's hard. I don't know how to deal with the work situation anymore. It bothers me most days.
