So, here's my story. I could really use some advice. 4/2/22 had the talk- I love you but not in love, been talking to someone else, don't think I want to fix things, etc. Surprisingly I kept my cool, not something either of us expected. MY immediate reaction was to try and fix things, apologized for the things I did wrong in the past. Our biggest problem has always been our sex life and her inability to talk to me, she can't deal with any conflict no matter how small. After a day passed she decided she would stay and try to fix things. Most of April was rough, lots of tears from both of us and lots of arguments. I stumbled across another online group and found some usefull things, I now know that most of it was ripped off from Michelle. End of April I catch her and the guy together at a public park. She was sorry but didn't think things were going to work, I again kept my cool and convinced her that I was all in for fixing things if she would try. She wasn't sure and kept seeing him a few nights a week while still living with me and our three kids. She moved into her parents house the first week of May. Kept seeing him but coming home a lot as if things were normal. She even said to me once that she didn't understand why she couldn't just see him and me, like that is a normal thing. Finally on Memorial Day weekend I couldn't take it any more mentally. I was lonely, pissed, and had enough. I told her on Sunday morning she had 24 hrs to make a choice, me or him and if it was him I hated to see her go but she needed to get her stuff that week. Surprisingly, she ended it with him and came home. I didn't really expect her to move back in that soon but she wanted to. I left out the big problem for me, she works with the guy. At first he was a truck driver for the company and now he is a warehouse supervisor. They work in the same building and sometimes have to interact. I want her to quit, she doesn't want to. This new job of his started about a month ago. I've tried to deal with it, but I am struggling almost daily. She swears she only talks to him when necessary. I can't help but worry everyday that they are talking again. She is depressed and won't seek help, and won't go to counseling. She won't socialize with friends anymore, just works and goes to the gym. She says that there are times when she doesn't want to be at our home, would rather be alone somewhere else. We get along just fine until the anxiety about her job gets the best of me and I ask her to find a new job. I don't know what to do. She came home and still says she wants thing to work, but she won't do anything. She also expects me to believe that in the 6 months she was seeing him, going to his house 3-4 nights a week, they never had sex. I can't believe it and it bothers me that she won't admit it. Feels like a huge lie hanging over us. We have been married 25 years, together 33. We have 3 kids- D23, S17, & D13. They don't know about the other man. I feel as if I'm doing all the work, letting her off the hook for everything, and she won't help me get over it. She says she loves me and wants it to work. She hates conflict, hates talking about anything involving her emotions, and seems like a stranger at times. It's hard. I don't know how to deal with the work situation anymore. It bothers me most days.
