Boundary after big D part four

[Mach40]

What made you think that when you were separated for 3 years? Like Mach1 always says WAWs will rarely go back to the same situation. What would have changed?

When actually she was just executing her plan to become independent financially career wise, then once that was secure, she started looking for another man.

Hypergamy at it's best.

Of course, this was pretty recent within past couple years, one EA and now a OM.

So Mach when you are divorced it's a BF not an OM.

Career took a long time, lots of work to be able to afford a house, car, etc after having nothing.

So you took her and her two kids in and provided a family and financial stability for her until she could make it on her own?

So, Mr. naïve I was, I was helping her and my daughters out, as I was the Husband.

When you separate you separate. You can't nice her back. You have been trying for 3 years. It didn't and will NEVER work.

I was blind to it all, in laws kind of new, SIL/BIL new she wasn't focusing on getting back.

I read once if a separation goes longer than 6 months 90% of the time it ends up in a D.

So yes, I was Nice Guy..

Again, I don't think you quite understand the term "Nice Guy".

Please don't think she is an evil woman, she has a lot of reasons to do what she did.

So the way I see it is you checked out and became very complacent, had nothing else going on in your life and battled with your step daughter.

For her, the kids, grands etc.. She sacrificed, and I failed to see what was going on.

What did she sacrifice?

I am up to speed now, slowly getting out, doing things, updating house, spending quality time with kids..

Better late than never.

Haven't bought her anything in a long time, as I have before..

NGS. Trying to buy her love. Good for you realizing that won't work.

And, according to the oldest, business is not doing well, even though she is the #1 Realtor in the company in this area, real estate is not doing well. She is even talking of selling home and renting..

Or don't be shocked if she moves in with BF. She may like being rescued.

Still, she hasn't said anything to me, as she is too proud.

Why would she you are not her husband anymore?

And I digress.. I am pretty good at striking up conversations with ladies, I just haven't had to for relationships in a long time. And when I am ready, I will be ready.

Great!

Church next week, and soup kitchen for thanksgiving.. Love helping others.

Mach church and soup kitchens are good but you really should start to expand your GAL.

Okay, I will try to answer the quotes here.
After 3 years, I honestly thought things would change. Sorry for being honest. I had no clue to what was going on. Zero. I was very much under the impression she was going to work on herself to come back. Yep Naïve.
Hypergamy, yep. So be it, if that is what she mentally thinks is important to her future, than its his choice to accept that too.. It natural to find/look for a superior protector in life, all animals do it. Being sarcastic, but, it is what it is.
Yes he is BF, sorry about that acronym I used.
I didnt take her kids in while she did all this. Youngest went with her, oldest was with me till she moved out with her BF.. Oldest is with her now, for 3 years and youngest has her own place for a year now. She couldnt stand living with oldest and the kids, too much chaos as she put it.
I did nothing financial for the youngest other than car insurance and health insurance, which is nothing via TRICARE.
I did nothing financial for the oldest either except car insurance.
I have a pretty good idea of what nice guy is. I am a nice guy, always helping people out, rescuing them as stated here. She needs rescuing and that is probably why I married her to begin with subconsciously.
The battles with my oldest were over many years ago, about 7. Now, she and I get along very well.
Maybe because she knows I am a good grandparent to her child and she finally gets it, or she is using me? I dont care, as I love my grand baby, and she will be taken care of as her Dad is a POS.
If ex moves in with BF, which I doubt, it would be a show of weakness.. I say that because this woman is ultra head strong and a workaholic. I dont see her giving up all she is working for to have a man take care of her. She has spoken this quite a bit.. Maybe its just all show. It doesnt matter.
The only issue would be, where would my oldest daughter go, as she is a non worker and living with her Momma. She wont come here..
Soup kitchen and Church are a start.. The Church is a different Church, with allot of counseling, group sessions and community service... I think it will get me out and busy... I need social interaction, and I now know it..