Boundary after big D part four

[LH19]

Nice guy syndrome has never been told to me.

Well you have been on the board for 3 years and it's in hundreds of threads so you have definitely seen the term and it should have set bells off. No one is going to save you Mach you need to save yourself.

When I was young, I was very confident going after ladies, never felt rejected when I was, if that makes sense.

It does make sense and you need the same attitude this time around.

Obviously now, I was very naïve as to our situation. I honestly thought that she was trying to focus on us and herself to get back together.

What made you think that when you were separated for 3 years? Like Mach1 always says WAWs will rarely go back to the same situation. What would have changed?

When actually she was just executing her plan to become independent financially career wise, then once that was secure, she started looking for another man.

Hypergamy at it's best.

Of course, this was pretty recent within past couple years, one EA and now a OM.

So Mach when you are divorced it's a BF not an OM.

Career took a long time, lots of work to be able to afford a house, car, etc after having nothing.

So you took her and her two kids in and provided a family and financial stability for her until she could make it on her own?

So, Mr. naïve I was, I was helping her and my daughters out, as I was the Husband.

When you separate you separate. You can't nice her back. You have been trying for 3 years. It didn't and will NEVER work.

I was blind to it all, in laws kind of new, SIL/BIL new she wasn't focusing on getting back.

I read once if a separation goes longer than 6 months 90% of the time it ends up in a D.

So yes, I was Nice Guy..

Again, I don't think you quite understand the term "Nice Guy".

Please don't think she is an evil woman, she has a lot of reasons to do what she did.

So the way I see it is you checked out and became very complacent, had nothing else going on in your life and battled with your step daughter.

For her, the kids, grands etc.. She sacrificed, and I failed to see what was going on.

What did she sacrifice?

I am up to speed now, slowly getting out, doing things, updating house, spending quality time with kids..

Better late than never.

Haven't bought her anything in a long time, as I have before..

NGS. Trying to buy her love. Good for you realizing that won't work.

And, according to the oldest, business is not doing well, even though she is the #1 Realtor in the company in this area, real estate is not doing well. She is even talking of selling home and renting..

Or don't be shocked if she moves in with BF. She may like being rescued.

Still, she hasn't said anything to me, as she is too proud.

Why would she you are not her husband anymore?

And I digress.. I am pretty good at striking up conversations with ladies, I just haven't had to for relationships in a long time. And when I am ready, I will be ready.

Great!

Church next week, and soup kitchen for thanksgiving.. Love helping others.

Mach church and soup kitchens are good but you really should start to expand your GAL.