Maybe, maybe not

[LH19]

I can't sleep in on the weekends so these are some quotes just from August and September:

I do promise one rule I will never break again is dating separated men. Not good.
But I have zero attraction with no depth for an extended period of time. That makes me want to bail.

So I am guessing because there is no relationship you can't be having these in depth convos so why don't you want to bail?

I also began to think that dating right now in this climate at this age is what it is. A bunch of people wanting no reald commitment and just sex. I almost told myself that this is the new norm, get used to it. Rarely did have I chatted with a guy who wants to date for real. All just busy professionals and parents whos "kids are their number one priority" ( I say that, because no sh!t). who just want to size a woman up as a sexual partner when it works for them. This is literally all I get. In some weird way, I must exude that? But i must have one of the most conservative online profiles out there for women.

I don't think you exude it you just accept it.

I worked with a coworker today who had just come back to work with us on the weekends. She said to me "Don't ever settle" and I did. I found myself mentally trying to settle. But why would I need to? I have provided for my own needs. I don't have any reason to settle.

Then why are you?

And I really don't feel so hopeful going forward about finding that one respectful great person to go forward with at this stage. But I also know I won't settle.

Uummm kinda sounds like you are settling.

But I could fess, there was something about this last guy. I miss him. It was so short and so sweet. But there was a serious something there and I think about him so much.

4 dates and you want us to believe you will not be affected?

My experience. And he was honest with me and told me how much he cared for me but he needs to be alone.

What's changed in 3 months?

I told him of when he was ready to date for real, hit me up, and maybe I’ll be available and we can talk.

Is he ready to date for real? If not, " you are still not ready to date for real. Hit me up when you are and maybe I will still be available". That makes you someone of value and worth having.

And I violated a rule I had sent once. I dated a guy who wasn’t legally divorced. It was painful, but it was once.

Sooo my guess is it doesn't count because it's the same dude?

You’re angry at DnJ because he pointed out that legally the hockey guy was still married and that you broke your own rule and that you may want to check that. You are the one who said he attacked you and your morals. That’s been pointed out to you before and you ignored it in favor of attacking him, not disagreeing. You’re angry because in violating your own rule you got hurt, and I think it’s you who are judging yourself but you won’t own that. D is just a convenient target.

BF is a wise woman.

You have to believe you are better than this or nothing changes.