It’s so weird, I keep going to update, write a long post and delete.
I am exhausted but I’m still going. Lots of hours worked and crap going on with my house and other stuff. But I’m good. Still planning a few days off in January and going away for a weekend by myself to get some rest.
I am seeing hockey guy again. It’s good. No labels. But we like eachother and have a great time together. So I can choose to be alone and not have fun with this guy. Or I can just have a good time with him. We text every day. Especially when we are watching our hockey team play. We talk politics and religion respectfully, even with some opposing views. It’s a nice friendship with the bonus of attraction. He also fulfills a need I think I was truly missing. Will it likely end? Yeah. Could it possibly not end? Yeah. But right now, I like it. It’s not holding me back from anything. If I was still seeking “the partner” maybe it would be a bad idea. But when he reappeared in my life, I had already stopped looking. Deleted apps. Was at peace with where I was. Just happy living day to day and my focus being on my career, home, kid, and my fitness/hobbies. And that’s where I still am even with him in my life. He has talked about some fun weekend trips we would both enjoy, like seeing a hockey game in a certain city I never visited, although not far. He is also going to teach me how to stop when Ice skating, lol. I’m a good skater, bad stopper. I keep trying to think of a real no should end this , but I can’t think of one, except that it might end. And I guess anything might end at some point, right ? Even in the best of situations .
So that’s that. I do know when it doesn’t work for me anymore and it doesn’t feel good, I will end it. But right now, I just can’t find a reason to do it.
