You're correct DnJ, I do not want to avoid having an L. I just want to avoid her knowing I'm getting guidance from one. I think it would be stupid not to utilize a lawyer, unless W and I negotiate terms that I feel are favorable to me. This is the biggest decision I’ll make in my life.
I think W’s friend who wanted out of her marriage and negotiated without a L may have gotten the short end of the stick in her D. I haven’t spoken to her ex since their D last year since she was still good friends with my W (had to pick a side basically), but I may reach out to him now with some questions.
I decided on responding with a simple "I would prefer to handle this between us if possible." It's not a lie, as I would like to handle things between us...if I get a favorable result.
