She asked if I'm getting a lawyer. I wanted to keep it to myself for a bit longer. Guess I gotta say yes now?
This sounds to me like you're struggling a bit in the "nice guy" role and feeling a need to be fully honest and transparent with your W. Remember...she is NOT the W you've known and NOT the person you thought she was. She is lying to you and gaslighting you. It's now a hostile business negotiation, not a caring husband and wife working together doing the best for your family situation. Avoid your natural instinct to be the dutiful H jumping in to take care of her.
I differ with DNJ here. Personally I would not tell her you're consulting an L. Don't outright lie to her face, but also no need to show your cards either IMO. What about responding with "I'd prefer to handle this between us." But...be sure to review any proposal with an L before responding. Better your responses are informed by legal advice and hers are not.
To be honest, your sitch sounds like it's probably heading towards both of you lawyering up anyway...but might as well try to avoid her getting one.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
