LH19, I guess I have to think about that one. I don't feel like I have any fears that prevent healthy boundaries. I was previously afraid of upsetting her or doing anything that could lead to divorce. I don't believe those fears are still there.
I guess I'm not exactly sure what other things would require boundaries. There haven't been loud arguments. The discussions we have had where one of us started raising our voice, the other one called it out and it was corrected. Name calling has not been an issue. No physical altercations. Physical harm would result in a 911 call for sure. Yelling would lead to me hanging up the phone as well. If W starts an argument or starts talking about D around the kids, I will leave the area or hang up the phone. So yes, those are boundaries I have, I just haven't had to use them.
The cheating is a little more complicated I guess. I'm not sure why I won't file for D for an EA/likely PA, but I will for a known PA. Maybe that's the fear you are talking about.
I'll keep trying to educate myself and gain a better understanding of boundaries.
