Consequences are interesting. Consequences are not you doling out punishment. They arise from actions taken from boundary violations. They are not to, and cannot be used to, control her or change her. You only control you. She controls herself. However, you can influence.
Boundaries are a tool for someone to protect themselves from very hurtful behaviour. They are for your emotional/mental health and not a modification/punishment mechanism. When one is calm and not within the hurtful situation, they craft their boundary. And decide what they will do to enforce it. “What they will do” - the actions they will take; not what the other person is to do (that is trying to control).
Usually, a boundary would/should be clearly stated as a going forward from this point type a thing. Boundaries are not to be made lightly. And expect your boundaries and resolve to be tested.
Disrespectful behaviour is definitely boundary worthy. Added benefit, it clearly illustrates when disrespect happens. Most folks will alter their behaviour when they realize they are doing it. (The influence part.) Of course, some won’t.
People will treat you as you allow them to.
I really liked this explanation of boundaries from DnJ a week ago. Of course I sent a stupid email without really implementing this knowledge right after it, but I will refer to this and other helpful info I've gotten prior to setting any more boundaries.
Last edited by DW17; 11/08/2208:13 PM. Reason: typo
