Well not much of an update from yesterday. IC went well. He also advised me to speak with an L asap. We talked about my concerns/fears with divorce. He recommended that I be the one to file unless I fear being the one to officially terminate the marriage. He thinks the court would be more likely to lean toward the recommendations of the filer. I'm not sure that makes sense but I will talk with L about it. I don't really care about being the one to file for D, but I'd rather let things play out while being prepared for anything.
I was expecting a crazy night when I got home from IC, but nothing happened. W didn’t mention anything about the D papers, the computer, or me going to IC with her. She tried starting dinner as I got back from IC, but I told her it was my week per our agreement. She said that’s dumb but whatever, and left me to it. While I made dinner she started cleaning, which is abnormal for her these days. She was trying to have fun with D4, dancing, singing, was going to give her a bath/paint her nails etc. She lasted halfway through dinner before going downstairs. I bathed D4, tried my best to paint her nails, read her a book and put her to bed.
This morning W said she's been trying to stay away from me by hiding downstairs but knows she needs to be a parent again. She was also venting about D18 being rude to her and not helping around the house. I just listened and tried to STFU, other than validating a few of the things she said about D18. Maybe she realized or was told she needs to get her sh!t together to avoid her 6 month parenting absence from being used against her in a custody situation. I’ll just focus on my time with D4.
I’m trying to commit to not doing anything stupid this week and learning from my missteps. I’m scheduling an appt with L, visiting my sister tonight, movie this weekend with D18 and trying to fit some time with friends in there. I’ve got all day with D4 on Friday so I’ll plan a fun day. I’ll keep running this week to prep for my Thanksgiving run and keep reading. I’m reading a book that was recommended to me called “This is how your marriage ends.” Another interesting read so far. The info is 20 years too late, but it will help me in the future.
Thanks again for the advice yesterday. I am documenting my time with D4, but I did skip a few weeks. The L’s that I spoke with previously said it wouldn’t have any bearing, but I’ll keep doing it anyway. It’s helpful for me to write things down. It was a crazy couple of days, but I made it through with my emotions mostly intact. Hopefully the rest of the week goes well for me.
