Well, the rib turned out to be fractured I’m pretty sure (I fractured three ribs once in a snowboarding fall so I’m familiar with the feeling). Had to pass on the horseback riding because of it but was able to still do most everything else on our trip, which was great.
Spa Guy is still in touch through texting. I told him that I had thought once I was back from all this traveling that I would offer to come see him, but that this rib fracture has me out of commission until next month. He was receptive, ( in a typical Love Avoidant way), to the idea of me coming to see him in December. Although his reply took several hours and was simply something along the lines of “that’s very kind of you”, the next day he initiated a conversation about favorite love songs, and sent me a couple by Damien Rice (Accidental Babies, I Remember) with lovely lyrics. He also reminded me of something about our first date 11 or 12 years ago which I had forgotten.
I was also reminded of what a tender-hearted guy he is. The new Netflix show From Scratch came up . I warned him that I had just watched it and that it could be a bit triggering for those of us who had nursed cancer patients, although I liked it. As soon as he heard that it involved the husband getting cancer he wanted NO part of watching it. (Many years ago he cared for his older sister while she was dying of cancer).
I guess overall I am reminded of why I liked him so much, despite his Love Avoidant limitations, and why I cared enough to keep reaching out despite him ghosting me for so long. And it dawned on me that perhaps the ghosting lasted so long because he couldn’t take hearing what I was dealing with caring for CMM since he’s still so traumatized by caregiving his sister.
