Yeah I was told the kids are resilient speech too .. what a load of crap. Sure they're resilient, but like Kipling said, "For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."

Kids get their strength from a solid base provided by their loving parents. Cracks in that foundation directly affect their resilience.

Sorry. That's just always p!$$ed me off, this notion of oh, the kids are resilient so it's ok to blow up our lives. Oops ... another trigger ...

Seems I get really angry still mostly around anything that affects/ed my son. I've let most of the other stuff go.

But I digress.

Yeah, it's easier to avoid our own feelings by taking care of others. It's also a huge let down when we go from 100% care taking to 0 because the person we loved and took care of is now gone. The full force of the exhaustion kept at bay for so long so we could keep showing up when our loved one needed us comes over like a tidal wave and leaves one pummeled on the beach with sand in our shorts. a whole lotta sand. It's not comfortable and takes a while to get back to a normal energy level. I find for me it requires a whole lotta faith and trust. Some days I have more of it than others.
Hope this makes sense.

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver