Take it as it comes... don't threaten me with Milli Vanilli
Resilience is such an interesting word. I agree we teach our kids resilience. I also think we use the word in the context of divorce and loss because WE NEED them to be resilient. We need to feel like we didn't skrew the pooch. To some extent, I think we banter the word around to make ourselves feel better and not so out of control.
Someone I know says "if you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough" I got high tensile steel in these veins
I wish them Godspeed in finding their way. They have you as a grounding wire. It means more than you know that they have a tether to someone/something solid. I've also been told that tether lasts because it's founded in a way of looking at things, and that outlasts us as beings. I like the idea of that, whether it's true or not, who knows. I know it to be real for some folks including me.
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I'm doing better with trying to get out a bit more, and realized that feeling isolated has little to do with being at home. I can feel that wherever I am. So the DB theory of faking it until I make it is in play for now.
Yeah, feeling isolated can happen anywhere. That you're getting out, just opens up opportunities for things to happen. Good on you for that!
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I am the person that I wanted to be all along, and I didn't need to break myself down to find that out. I think I said before that when my marriage ended I was broken, and I did the work and found who I was. Since K passed, I'm just heartbroken, and it's a big difference between the two things.
Cheers to the journey that made you who you wanted to be. Finding out who you really are is hard work and seeing through the lies we tell ourselves, well, I know I preaching to the choir. I also know this is an awesome distinction between broken and brokenhearted. It can be easy and too simple to just refer to ourselves as broken.
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That caretaking aspect is hard to just turn off, at least for me. It went from 100mph to ZERO, like Oprah trying to walk past a Twinkie, in the matter of a second. A lot of what I post is about me trying NOT to caretake things. I'm sure that it reads like I am trying to 'do' something about it. In reality, I'm just trying to find MY balance in it, and I am sure that using it as a defense is part of that.
Dude...I see your turning off the caretaking a bit more like:"Pop quiz guys. What happens when an electric bike going 60 miles per hour hits and anti-electric field going in the opposite direction?" Sometimes just hanging back and seeing how it goes works in your favor. I'm sure this will for you.
