From my observations, a significantly large percentage of the population [censored] at emotional validation, and men are worse than women.
It is much easier to practice with your kids.
You look sad. Is that how you feel? It is OK to be angry. It is not OK to hit other kids. I bet that made you angry. I would be angry if that happened to me.
Originally Posted by Rockon
...W told me she was unhappy....and that she wished she could leave out the back door instead of facing them....
"I can see why you would be unhappy" or "I can understand why you would want to leave" or "I would also want to leave if I were in your shoes" are the first things that come to my mind....NOT THAT YOU SHOULD SAY THIS TO HER.
One of my mantras, "I am responsible for my relationship with my children. Their mother is responsible for her relationship with her children".
I would say something like this: "You are right, it might be a good idea for you to leave. I will take care of everything here." She can stay or leave and you are fine with either choice she makes.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Moving on. Doing better today. Some low periods during the day but much more peaceful and settled got busy and got stuff done. Reached out to good friends. One of the couples who have been very supportive of me that Ive been leaning checked in. The W of that couple (a long time very close and solid dependable friend to my W) said she is feeling angry at my W and feels let down by her in their friendship. W has been ghosting her. She said she doesn’t know if she’s able to be that great support to me because if her feelings towards my W. I validated and said we all feel what we feel and I feel those same things as well. Acknowledging and processing these feelings and choosing our best actions is what is going to get us through.
I expressed how much their support means to me and that also even though I am reaching out a lot and need connection and support right now it absolutely doesn’t need to all come from them. I have other good sources in place and recognizing limitations and healthy boundaries is important.
No contact with W today - quite peaceful. I’ve encountered occasional mind movies and anger flashes but got through them.
