Her monthly settlement isnt that much.. It will help. The grudge she is holding. In her own words " I wish we could go back in time, before all the damage (to us, the girls, family, etc). I sure wish that was possible. " This was a few days ago, after running to ground business with Lawyers and such.. Damage to the oldest was the control, constant digging on her to shape up. Wife just tried to keep life calm. The youngest there wasnt much.. Really When I came back oldest and I still werent getting along, untill she became pregnant, then stuff just clicked. I think they all saw the Dad I could be with the Grand Baby. Again, too late. And wife, the drama with the oldest led to a sexless marriage ( many control factors by wife), she thought I had low T. I eventually looked elsewhere. I never did anything, never touched or talked to another women. Thats the truth. Doesnt make it right at. Now, all this towards wife was after knowing what her previous husband had done to her. Drugs, sleeping around, neighbor pregnant, left the girls twice. Communications was severely lacking.. I had no one to reach out to, as I didnt know wth was going on.. I thought once the oldest came back, life would get better. It did, but it was too late. The Ashley Madison thing was found a long time after they moved back, when she was doing the bills. I was on it a month, but never did anything on it.. When I returned to SC, we went to counseling, and she was not receptive to it at all. Our sex life became significantly better till about 2017/18 when she left mentally.. So, thats it in a nutshell. She also said this in the email.. "Hey you have a lot of amazing qualities. "Comments on how I look, very positive, but I removed them as its personal" Personally, you have grown so much. The way you love "grand daughter" is so very endearing. You are dedicated and determined. You are a planner. You have the ability to recognize when you need to evoke change and take the necessary steps for success. You are an amazing person. Don’t ever forget that." "What I wrote was an accurate representation of how I feel. This whole thing has been so difficult. I have buried my heart so deep, protecting myself for so long that I have walked through the past decade numb. It's been a rough road. I'm very tired. I really am tired. And I apologize for hurting you. But just know this sword has two blades that impaled us both. I recognize your hurt and I apologize for my part in that. I truly do."
