...I can also move the rest of her stuff downstairs
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Yes. Move it. Do not let your anger control you. Do it respectfully like you would for a friend. (IE don't throw it in a big pile etc).
Originally Posted by BL42
If you're going to pack up her stuff and move it, I'd consider doing it at a time related to her infidelity for the most impact.
For example, last night while she was sleeping over at OM's house to take him to the airport in the early morning would've been the perfect time. Her going off to do that only to walk back into your house and see her stuff all packed up. If she already returned - and let us know how that went - then maybe another time such as one of her Saturday out all night "sleeping over at a friend's place" routines.
Others here might say you should do it for you and you alone, and not at all for her reaction - and I get that - but always thought the immediacy of the action/consequence might matter. E.g., training a pet not to mess in the house...you can't tell them "no!" the next day, you've got to catch them right away.
I've often wished I'd packed up my wife's stuff in a box and left it on the back porch while she was "working late" with OM1 and have her come back late night while the kids and I were already asleep with the doors locked and a note that said "I know what you're doing. Here are your things. Go stay at your mother's house" while after me and the kids. I honestly don't think it would've changed the end result of the marriage/D, but it sure would've made me feel a whole lot stronger a whole lot sooner, and perhaps helped speed up my journey.
Although perhaps I'm projecting my fantasy onto your sitch, so others can feel free to disagree. Just a thought.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
