I have to admit I feel a great deal of pressure/stress/anxiety sometimes pulling these events together because I feel the need to make it "perfect" for the kids, probably guilt of the D and their situation going back and forth from houses (even if it wasn't my choice). Running up to her birthday D4 had mentioned several times wanting to go back to the water park for her birthday (I took them earlier this year for my 40th), and I try to fit everything in but there were too many logistics and I just couldn't make it happen that weekend. However, I did take them this month over a school and made a big deal we were going because it was her birthday wish and we had a great time. So I got it done and she loved it. I know those feelings of pressure/stress/anxiety to make it perfect for them are going to bubble up in me come with Christmas coming up as well. I need to learn it's ok not to fit in everything and make everything "perfect" for them and just go a little easier on myself and relax a bit. It's tough to handle all aspects of parenting without a partner. There's still all the responsibilities two parents would normally share (laundry, cooking, cleaning, buying clothes, yard work, kids activities...etc.) in BOTH houses, but it's just me. Granted, my parents have been a godsend so thankfully I have support. .
Hey 42...
I will tell you this...
It doesn't have to be perfect....
Only perfect for you..
I always wondered if I was "enough" for my kids...
And I can tell you that they do notice, and you are enough by being there and showing up.
I had a pretty detailed talk with my Son over the weekend. We talked about things, and he has been curious about life events that led him to to the man that he is becoming. And even with all that he missed by being a kid, he saw a LOT. Pretty powerful moment when he told me that watching and seeing what I had overcome to be the person that I am, and that he admired me because of who I am, and also because of who I chose NOT to be...
So I think that what we do today will pay dividends. Maybe not today or tomorrow, yet it will..
Stay YOUR course, I think you are knocking this out of the park...
