I called her and left a vm around 9pm on the day of her bday. Just a short 'happy bday, hope you had a good day'. She text the next day saying thanks and that she had been asleep when I called. Shortly after her text, I called with the intent of asking about a bday dinner that weekend. We talked for about 15 mins- just about her school day and some other small talk. She was on her way to a teacher friend's for pumpkin carving. Before we hung up, I asked about coming to town and treating her to a bday dinner. She said she was headed out of town, asked what for, if I was currently in town...it was almost like she wanted to, but didn't. She asked if she could call me back since she was at the house. Ended up texting me at midnight apologizing multiple times for not calling back and saying she'd call the next day.

So she called me the next day saying she couldn't do dinner. I asked about a raincheck, but she has a few things going on next weekend too. Then it turned into more of 'I can't, why are you asking, didn't we already have this conversation....' It ended up as pretty much a repeat of the 1st convo we had. She says she loves me and that it upsets her knowing that she's upsetting me, but that it's too late. I then gave an 'I hope you find your fairy tale' (not in a spiteful way) final goodbye. I've been surprised at her lack of emotion during our calls. She's always been super emotional in the past. I think it's a combination of being over me and trying to stay tough- I can hear conflict in her responses at times and she said that after our last call, it took her a few days to 'get over it'.

She text me the next night letting me know that her Amazon account was hacked and I should keep an eye on my credit card (we shared accounts), but I didn't respond. I don't really expect to hear from her and I'm not planning on reaching out.

I did see a counselor yesterday morning to discuss the R, my kids leaving for college, my identity, etc. He asked how I thought ex fiancé would respond if I just showed up, so that approach has creeped back into my mind, but at this point, I think it would come across as stalkerish. Continuing with counseling and we'll see what he thinks, but it's probably time to move on and if she reaches out, she reaches out. Just hars to process as I still feel deep down that we're meant to be. I never felt that way with ex W of 15 years.