Living with a WAW

[BL42]

DW17,

Bought a couple of shirts and jeans.
Upgrading the wardrobe, nice.

Went out for bday drinks Saturday night with some good friends and my sister. Had a lot of fun.

Awesome!

W and a couple of her friends stopped by for a drink but left after about 30 minutes.

Seems awkward to stop in briefly on your H's birthday outing. Either come or don't come, but a quick appearance and then leave? Odd. Glad you didn't let it stop you from having a fun night.

Two of her friends stuck around for about an hour before reluctantly meeting up with W which I thought was funny.

You should've practiced your flirting skills on her friends. THAT would've been interesting.

W came home at about 7am and casually complained about a bunch of stuff that I ignored – she supposedly left the bar because she had a panic attack and thinks it was because my sister was there, I don’t give her enough information about what I’m doing, I ignored her at the bar Sat night, Do my friends know we’re getting D, and other random things. I validated a little, but mostly ignored it and got up and walked the dog for about an hour.

Mostly ignoring it and leaving is the right call. It's YOUR birthday, and she's complaining? Don't let it phase you - sounds like you handled it right.

I sometimes feel guilty for not giving her specific enough answers, but if it doesn’t involve the kids, she can keep guessing.

Drop the guilt, Mr Nice Guy. She is cheating on you!

She gave me a heads up that really early Thursday morning some friends need her help with something but she’d be home to take D4 to school before I leave for work.

Her friends need help with something really early on a Thursday morning? Hmmm...skeptical. Sounds like she's playing games with your head.

She said I’ve been vague about my plans so she’ll be vague as well. I calmly told her that her plans are none of my business and left for work.

Great answer! Bonus points if you did it with a coy smile on your face.

Then the speculation kicked in. I keep asking myself questions I know I shouldn’t care about (Is she staying out and coming home in the morning or just leaving early Thursday morning? Will she be with OM? If so, why did she say friends instead of friend? Who is busy that early on a Thursday?)

Perfectly understandable. There's not a single person here who hasn't had those thoughts - do your best to keep them to yourself and making your interactions with her proper, which it sounds like you're doing.

I know I’ve got to focus on what I’m doing, and I have been doing well with it, but this one caught me off guard. I’ll keep trying to stop sign it and hopefully that’ll help.

Wouldn't worry about this too much - sounds like you're doing well. Keep up the way you're interacting with her, and the internal off guard feeling will get better over time.

Her only complaint has been that I kicked her out of the MBR so she shouldn’t have to pay fair share of bills (what?).

LOL! Too bad so sad for her.

Getting rid of my irrational fear of upsetting her has been great.

Great to hear, but be prepared you'll have ups and downs...don't be surprised if some of those fears resurface temporarily.

This week is busy again with soccer, but for my GAL, I’m still exercising (mainly just treadmill running since W’s bed took over my workout space – a trade I’ll happily agree to), I have a couple more pounds to lose this week to meet my October goal, ran the fastest mile I’ve run since I was probably 15, going to a Halloween party Saturday and have a few holiday related plans for spending time with the kids.

Good stuff DW17! Sounds like you're doing relatively well. Keep up the good work.