I haven’t posted in a bit so I figured I’d give a little update.
Things have been going well for me and have been cordial with W. Was a busy weekend with soccer games, D18 homecoming and my bday. Bought a couple of shirts and jeans. Went out for bday drinks Saturday night with some good friends and my sister. Had a lot of fun. W and a couple of her friends stopped by for a drink but left after about 30 minutes. Two of her friends stuck around for about an hour before reluctantly meeting up with W which I thought was funny.
Sunday was my actual bday. I was trying to make bigger plans for the day but D4 had another game right in the middle of the day so I deferred to family time instead. W came home at about 7am and casually complained about a bunch of stuff that I ignored – she supposedly left the bar because she had a panic attack and thinks it was because my sister was there, I don’t give her enough information about what I’m doing, I ignored her at the bar Sat night, Do my friends know we’re getting D, and other random things. I validated a little, but mostly ignored it and got up and walked the dog for about an hour. I sometimes feel guilty for not giving her specific enough answers, but if it doesn’t involve the kids, she can keep guessing.
Went to the D4’s game, then came home and watched a football game and a playoff soccer game with the girls. Had “family movie night” with them after that. So lots of TV, which is pretty rare for me, but was nice just relaxing and stopping myself from doing things like cleaning. We did cake but W was downstairs in bed and declined to participate. Bothered me a little, mainly because it’s confusing for D4, but I’ve been pretty good about having little to no expectations.
This morning however, something she said did bother me and it’s been hard to ignore so far today. She gave me a heads up that really early Thursday morning some friends need her help with something but she’d be home to take D4 to school before I leave for work. She said I’ve been vague about my plans so she’ll be vague as well. I calmly told her that her plans are none of my business and left for work. Then the speculation kicked in. I keep asking myself questions I know I shouldn’t care about (Is she staying out and coming home in the morning or just leaving early Thursday morning? Will she be with OM? If so, why did she say friends instead of friend? Who is busy that early on a Thursday?) I know I’ve got to focus on what I’m doing, and I have been doing well with it, but this one caught me off guard. I’ll keep trying to stop sign it and hopefully that’ll help.
Quick note about our bills, I made a list of bills for her, gave her all applicable info and allowed her to provide any input she had. She was a little upset, slept on it and seemed okay with it the next day. Her only complaint has been that I kicked her out of the MBR so she shouldn’t have to pay fair share of bills (what?). Getting rid of my irrational fear of upsetting her has been great.
This week is busy again with soccer, but for my GAL, I’m still exercising (mainly just treadmill running since W’s bed took over my workout space – a trade I’ll happily agree to), I have a couple more pounds to lose this week to meet my October goal, ran the fastest mile I’ve run since I was probably 15, going to a Halloween party Saturday and have a few holiday related plans for spending time with the kids.
