After so many years with one person, everything you see and touch is something both have seen and touched together.. I hope I can learn to compartmentalize them away..
It’s more accepting than compartmentalizing.
Yes, near everything you see and touch has memories associated with it. The immutable past. Your past. One which was shared. In time, you will find a way to sit and smile with you memories.
When fresh after bomb drop the path forward is focusing on self, limiting going down memory lane, GAL, and so on. It’s part of detaching, finding indifference, and letting go. One slowly accumulates ee memories and things touched sans their spouse, and thus builds their new life.
As time passes, indifference unwinds and “old” feelings return. As one heals more and more; their feelings and memories rise up more and more.
More time passes, one keeps moves forward - gal, working, exercising, hobbies, etc.; does their inner work; reconciles them self and their beliefs; and acceptance of the lost past is gained.
Eventually events and scenarios that once triggered you, become pleasant reminders. Our emotional response to, and feelings associated with the scenario alter. A personal example is Thanksgiving supper. Having everyone around the table, laughing, talking, and eating far too much , reminds me more of the lifetime of Thanksgiving suppers, more than that fateful one.
Acceptance is a significant shift of one’s perspective. Same event, triggering or just a reminder. Inner work and time leads to the later.
D
DNj, Thnx, Time, GAL, exercise, etc are the main ingredients in helping going forward. Doing as much as I can to keep busy, will keep me focused on me and healing.. Its easy to sit and dwell sometimes, especially on the road. My crew doesnt like to do much at all.. The next few months I have all the holidays, 2 birthdays to deal with. It will bring about memories, triggers etc and sense of loss. Makes sense. Daughters and I spoken, and it involves separate days with me. Ex wanted to have them altogether as I have said before. Nope, not ready, just not ready to face that. As she said the girls told her they want normalcy. Well, that ship sailed when she and I split. I am hoping I can work this through as efficiently as possible. I hate this gutted feeling.. I read a article explaining how the brain process pain/hurt more efficiently than pleasure/happiness. It does it to protect itself from future pain/hurt. Makes a person more guarded, instinct. And two chemicals are put into your body when hurt, vice not hurt as its another set of chemicals... I wish I could subdue that feeling... Breathing helps.. Maybe meditation will help..
, reminds me more of the lifetime of Thanksgiving suppers, more than that fateful one.
