Listen very closely. W is going to be mad at you no matter what you do. She is likely feeling guilty and bad about herself due to her actions and will project that on you.
Even if you walked on eggshells and tried to appease her 110% she's still going to lash out at you for something. One example on here we used recently is it's her birthday and you get her a card/present she'll be upset because she told you she needs space and is done and you're not listening, but if you don't get anything for her she'll use it as an example of how you don't care and it justifies her affair/leaving.
Your goal IS NOT to avoid making her mad. Your goal is to do what's best for you and your kids.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
