What do you mean react too much in either direction?
My mind reacting positively or negatively to my thoughts about the future. As you’ve said several times, I can’t control that and I should not even be thinking about it.
Originally Posted by ”LH19
What decision are your making? Well technically you can't kick her out of the room. You can suggest she sleeps elsewhere. Why does it feel like the wrong move either way?
The decision I’m referring to is kicking her out of the room. Is she just staying there until I tell her to move downstairs so she can have something to get mad at me about? I’m not sure, but I probably shouldn’t even care if she gets mad at me. It feels like the wrong move either way because I’m trying to balance being assertive and kicking her out of the room with trying not to create a confrontational daily environment. But she is the one who has created that environment so I shouldn't be worried about it.
Originally Posted by ”LH19
Why are you ignoring her
She keeps telling me that I am ignoring her and she’s said it enough that I’m starting to believe it. Usually it’s when I don’t give direct answers to questions and say “I need to think about it” or something similar. She also mentions when I don’t respond to texts/phone calls right away. The thing I should probably ignore is when W tells me to stop ignoring her.
Originally Posted by "LH19
What is confusion/frustration over daily plans?
Because I don't talk/text with her as much, things with D18 (college/work/soccer/school) and coordinating our schedules has failed several times. If I have plans, I keep forgetting to mention them to her which has upset her. For example, I forgot to tell her about the Halloween party I'm going to and it's on a Saturday which is "her day" according to her, so she is mad about it. Apparently I'm supposed to have Fridays only to go out, which is news to me.
Originally Posted by ”LH19
Why would you enjoy spending time with someone who has multiple affairs and is planning to leave you?
I worded that poorly. I don’t necessarily mean enjoying my time around her, I mean having an amicable relationship. We are stuck in the same house for the time being and it seems like it’s better for everyone if we aren’t arguing every day. But as I think about it, we haven’t been arguing every day, even as I’ve been short with communication.
Originally Posted by ”LH19
The right decision based on what?
Going to the pumpkin patch seems like the right decision for me based on my love of her cousin’s family. The situation with W and I doesn’t change that. They don’t live close, so there aren’t a ton of opportunities to see them, and there will likely be far fewer, if any, for me in the future. D4 (and D6) won’t understand why I’m not there either. It’s been a yearly tradition, and I feel like this year at least, I should be there.
Originally Posted by ”LH19”
You are way over thinking it. How you act right now has zero effect on her decision.
I think most of what is going through my head the past 2 days can be summed up here. I am way overthinking things. After talking with the L’s about divorce related things and W starting up a convo about them too, then talking to my sister about those conversations, I started overanalyzing things again. There is definitely fear of the future as well. The L’s both had me scared I’ll be living in a 500 sqft box for the next 14 years. I know it won’t be that bad, but it felt that way.
Thanks LH for the reply. Even when I have rambling thoughts, you guys help keep me from veering too far. I appreciate it.
