Living with a WAW

[Ready2Change]

She has also talked with a friend who filed for divorce by having her and her husband fill out the paperwork and just having a L review everything at the end to save money. W said she intends to do the same thing eventually

Perfect, let her fill out the paperwork and give you copy. Then you take your time to read and process it. Before that happens, you privately draw up your own. That way you have an idea on what you think is fair.

which will only cause problems if we can’t agree on the big items.

To clarify, did she say this (which is how you stated it) or do you think this (Which is what I believe you meant).

Do I just try to avoid any talk about D altogether?

The rule is "Do not initiate." When she initiates, you intently listen, like it is the only thing that matters. Do not let it drag on. At some point, you can state "Thanks for sharing. I will need some time to think about what you said. I have to go now. I have something important to do"

she needs to “save money so she can move out”, which she has said for 2 months without saving a penny. Yesterday she said she’d be willing to pay some of them. I’m going to plan it out tonight and go over it with her tomorrow.

First thing I would do when discussing this is to ask her "How soon do you think you can move out?" I do not know how to articulate how important this statement is. First, you are supporting her decision (Even if you do not agree with her). You are not arguing with her.

W’s biggest concern right now is making sure we don’t mess up D18’s senior year of high school so she wants us to work together, even if that means her moving downstairs until D18 is done with school. I’m still not sure how to handle this situation.

Lots of choices. List some ideas out. We can't do all the work for you. Think this out here. We will give our 2 cents.

She suggests things but doesn’t actually do them.

Take action to make them happen. Respectfully move her stuff downstairs.

but it still feels like the wrong move either way.

You are using the wrong ruler. Is this what LH19 would do? Is it what PDT would do? Did I make a plan and stick with the plan?

I read in a post here that if you are ignoring, you are doing things wrong.

It all depends on what you are ignoring and why. The goal is to reduce resentment.

it feels like there’s something to be said for at least enjoying your time around each other before it’s gone.

She does not enjoy being around you. She wants out. Best thing to do is GAL and possibly have her miss you. What are you enjoying about being around her anyway? Texting OM?