Wolfman moving forward 4

[Wolfman]

Here is the situation. The other day in therapy we talked about finances. One of the things we spoke about with the therapist was how my regular salary is not enough. That every month I either dip a little into savings or break even. My money very slowly goes down. My second job, when I close a deal that brings my accounts back up. My second job is not consistent at all. Thank god for it, otherwise we would be in trouble. Anyway, we spoke about that, therapist gave us an assignment about bringing our finances to the table that we both agreed on.
Here is the situation. I have a deal coming up on my second job. My gf knows I have this deal coming up. She asked for me to double the amount of money I give her for the month. She wants it just for one month. Not for anything in particular, just to put into her savings. I was very nice about it, I said we talked about this in therapy, this is what keeps us afloat for the next few months. She said its not fair that I have this job and I can make extra money. That she only has a set amount and she cant make extra money. I said I understand that must be frustrating. I said if any extra bills come up, let me know and I will take care of it. She kept with, her savings is starting to go down (which is funny because she just bought a $200 jacket and the baby $70 jacket) and how does she get to replenish it? I said I understand that this is not easy for you, not being able to buy what you want. The conversation ended with her being annoyed with me. It really bothers me, that she sees me as a paycheck sometimes. I pay all the bills in the house, I pay her cell phone and car insurance. She literally has no expenses. She does work part time and I give her money every month. I feel she needs to do a better job managing her money then. The extra money I made is going to go to those bills the next couple of months, not some vacation, or clothes for me or expensive restaurants. Literally its for the mortgage, utilities, cell phone. Trust me I shop around and bargain with everyone. I have my bills as low as I possibly could. I'm just really bothered by it. Oh let me share this. She gets food stamps too, so food is covered. Then last night, she was at the super market. She asked if there was anything I needed. i said just a box of the protein cookies (that she eats too). She gets home and I forgot how we got on the subject but started to talk about food bills. She said your cookies are expensive $18 and she isn't buying them next time. If I want them for me to buy them myself. That really bothered me. So, very calmly I said is that really nice to say? You asked me if i wanted something, something that you eat too. She then jumped in and said, you know I only get a certain amount on food stamps. I said I understand I was only asking for one thing. Am I not allowed to eat. She said you are but if we use all the money on food stamps then she has to use her money. (Just for here, thats why I give her extra money every month, to spend on whatever). I asked how would you feel if you asked for a certain food and said, use your money? She just stared at me. I said that wouldn't make you feel good. Thats how you made me feel. I said that is how you show someone love? Of course she went back to me not agreeing giving her that extra money, and how its not fair. ugh I explained has there ever been a time when you asked for money for groceries because we went over the stamps and I said no? She said no. I said then whats the problem if I want one extra thing that you eat too? The conversation ended with her mad at me for telling her that what she said didn't make me feel loved. More and more I feel like its about what I can do for her all the time. I am reaching my breaking point. I will bring this up with the therapist, see what she will say to us.