Spa Guy sounds more like a fearful avoidant than a distant avoidant, in that he keeps an emotional distance, but wants to be in love. As a medical pro and someone who cares about him, it must be frustrating you can't help him overcome that. He even has a lady already somewhat interested in him who Stands By Her Man ala Tammy Wynette.
You may be right, Traveler. I'm reminded of the comment my BFF made once: "Love Avoidants need love too". But he's been this way his entire adult life so I have no illusions about changing him. I really respected that he was so up front about it in the beginning, so I never felt disappointed. And he's handsome and charming enough that he will never lack for female companionship.
I THINK he ghosted me because he (mistakenly) thought I needed more than he had to give at that time (I was recovering from the crazy breakup with crazy exBF when I last saw him). It's remotely possible that he ghosted me because he felt himself at risk of being pulled into my orbit but I really doubt that.
I believe he has genuine fondness for me, and enjoyed himself when I visited, but never enough to consider changing his lifestyle. And that's okay by me - at this point in my life, I don't really want a guy who is a "fixer-upper". I'm content to be his friend, maybe with occasional benefits when I'm not in a relationship.
You'll be glad to know, T, that I am keeping up my exercise bike habit. 60 minutes at level 6 (out of 8) 6-7 nights a week. My quads are looking good but I need to figure out a good hamstring workout to do at home.
My quads are looking good but I need to figure out a good hamstring workout to do at home.
