I didn’t send the note and there she goes. I have already as you say clearly communicated what I needed to with words. I’m sad. But encouraged that I’m going to be ok. Now to live life well.
Sending that letter would have been a massive mistake.
Trust me - I sent a last ditch letter, and I’ve regretted it ever since.
Your two options are: 1. Completely ignore her trip and have a great time on your own 2. Move her stuff out and get your lawyer to send a letter
Of those two options, number 2 is much more likely to result in a reconciled marriage. But very few - if any - who are new to this site have the conviction to do it.
It’s okay to be sad without her. But remember like we’ve told you a thousand times already - this is about her and her alone.
There is literally nothing you can say which is going to change her path of destruction.
Fighting the urge to give up on me and my progress. I set my alarm, got up made a good breakfast and coffee. Did not reach out to W don’t plan too (but resisting the urge nontheless). Going to have a little solitude and then go to church with D and have a great day.
Sounds like a good plan for today. So I want you to dig down deep and post here why you are afraid to let go of your W. Be really honest with yourself.
I feel like a failure and a disappointment. I am worried that she is unwell. I don’t like pain and sadness. I feel rejected discarded betrayed and abandoned. I don’t really know what else to say right now.
So your w is well. She feels like she is living her life for herself right now. Nobody likes pain and sadness and we are trying to tell you that letting your w go is the quickest way out of it. It is normal to feel discarded like a piece of trash.
So what I’m looking for is more of your fears. What is keeping you from saying “W I love you and want you to be happy so I will let you go find your happiness. “
For me it was what would happen to my kids. I had never lived alone up to that point. Did I have enough money to survive? Would I be sitting in a rocking chair on my porch alone in the end?
I am for sure worried about what will happen/grieving what has happened to our family. In particular our youngest D and youngest S. I don’t know how to navigate that I’m very overwhelmed.
I’m working to let go and head in the opposite direction from W. taking care of myself - combination of fun, responsibility and grieving loss too.
I know that W doesn’t need me to be happy and vice versa. And I do love her and want her to be well and happy regardless of outcome.
