Well truth be told it doesn’t really mean anything one way or another. If it makes you feel better than just do it. It’s all about what makes Mach feel good right now.
No worries it’s weird stuff. I spent half my life with my ex and now we barely speak and when we do it’s all business. I’m at piece with it and you will be some day too.
The more I read, and the more insight I get from the people on this site, I will be at peace.. One day that will hit me... Good thing is much positive has come out of the relationship, my two daughters and grands. Our relationships are solid..
Havent texted Happy B Day to ex. Decisions. What do you think she is feeling.
It may be late, but my vote is no.
Originally Posted by Mach40
LH19, I know if I text her Happy B Day, she will be happy.
It's not your job to make her happy.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Not texting her will make her sad..
Your actions don't "make" her feel anything. Her happiness should not depend on a happy birthday wish from her Ex.
Originally Posted by Mach40
I am not a mean guy,
It's not mean to not wish your ExW happy birthday.
Originally Posted by Mach40
I love the kids and grands..
You can be a great dad and granddad without wishing your ExW happy birthday - these are two entirely different things.
Originally Posted by Mach40
What does she mean to me? I havent let her go, yet, thnx to everyone here I am getting "it" more and more each day. I need to just let it go. I think maybe you were in denial because of the amicable nature. I remember reading awhile back you saying the Ls thought you really wouldn't end up divorced because you two were so friendly. You speculated on her potentially dating and how it would make you feel, so you knew it was possible in theory, but now it's a reality. Even though you were separated for some time that she wasn't dating yet was probably a comfort or relief for you, and now you have to deal with the next step in the reality...which isn't easy. But think of the birthday text dilemma...what if you text her HBD while she's out to dinner with this new guy? How would that make you feel?
[quote=LH19]Well truth be told it doesn’t really mean anything one way or another. If it makes you feel better than just do it. It’s all about what makes Mach feel good right now.
I agree with LH it won't make any major difference in the situation - just hoping to see you moving forward, loving life, and happy than spending your time stuck debating whether to send a HBD text.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Good thing is much positive has come out of the relationship, my two daughters and grands. Our relationships are solid..
Yes. The kids and grandkids are always the exception in these situations. Great that you have such strong relationships with them. That's not always the case, so take some comfort in that.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Thnx BL42.. Time is going to get me through this. Hopefully this forum can continue to push me in the right direction post divorce. I am sure they will as there are many success stories on this forum. I have noticed, the less I speak of her the less I feel for her.. Which is good. I am trying to remember more of the negative to assist in the transition forward. And, even though she may not have seen it, not that it matters, there was allot of negative and lack of trying in our relationship on both sides. .
I think you need to ask yourself why if you are not a mean guy you couldn't pull the trigger on the happy birthday and be 100% honest with yourself.
You make a good point. I think my mind is still in the hopium phase. I waited for years to have her come back, when in reality she was already well on her way and moved on. So, I still try to be nice and am thinking of us getting back together.. Now, since I have been on here as of a few days ago, I am seeing more of the light. It just takes some guidance, which I appreciate it..
You make a good point. I think my mind is still in the hopium phase. I waited for years to have her come back, when in reality she was already well on her way and moved on. So, I still try to be nice and am thinking of us getting back together..
Thank you for being honest and I already knew the answer to the question. I think this board can get people stuck sometimes. So just make sure you are not trying to punish her right now. Ultimately I think a friendship someday is best for your family.
I am a technical person too. Over thinker, prior to doing something. If I had a well written course of action, things would be easier to go forward. Right now, their is a plethora of information, and many little variables hitting me..
