Boundary's after big D

[BL42]

Mach40,

Havent texted Happy B Day to ex. Decisions. What do you think she is feeling.

It may be late, but my vote is no.

LH19, I know if I text her Happy B Day, she will be happy.

It's not your job to make her happy.

Not texting her will make her sad..

Your actions don't "make" her feel anything. Her happiness should not depend on a happy birthday wish from her Ex.

I am not a mean guy,

It's not mean to not wish your ExW happy birthday.

I love the kids and grands..

You can be a great dad and granddad without wishing your ExW happy birthday - these are two entirely different things.

What does she mean to me? I havent let her go, yet, thnx to everyone here I am getting "it" more and more each day. I need to just let it go.
I think maybe you were in denial because of the amicable nature. I remember reading awhile back you saying the Ls thought you really wouldn't end up divorced because you two were so friendly. You speculated on her potentially dating and how it would make you feel, so you knew it was possible in theory, but now it's a reality. Even though you were separated for some time that she wasn't dating yet was probably a comfort or relief for you, and now you have to deal with the next step in the reality...which isn't easy. But think of the birthday text dilemma...what if you text her HBD while she's out to dinner with this new guy? How would that make you feel?

[quote=LH19]Well truth be told it doesn’t really mean anything one way or another. If it makes you feel better than just do it. It’s all about what makes Mach feel good right now.

I agree with LH it won't make any major difference in the situation - just hoping to see you moving forward, loving life, and happy than spending your time stuck debating whether to send a HBD text.

Good thing is much positive has come out of the relationship, my two daughters and grands. Our relationships are solid..

Yes. The kids and grandkids are always the exception in these situations. Great that you have such strong relationships with them. That's not always the case, so take some comfort in that.