I like everything about this update - except her trying to keep D4 away from you.
Someone (friend/lawyer) has been in her ear about child support payments and that it’s in her financial interests that she get maximum custody of D4.
You need to reverse that trend ASAP. Maximise time and interaction with D4, including doing lots of fun things so she enjoys spending time with you. I’ve seen this a hundred times with my friends - sudden changes in care arrangements is ALWAYS related to a WAW/WW wanting to maximise how much money they can take from you during divorce.
I’m not saying you have to… but have you thought about buying the downstairs bed for her? Something to consider. I know I couldn’t sleep in the same bed as someone engaging in an affair.
